Wednesday, September 28, 2011

I am so not a multi-tasker...

Well everyone... (who reads) I have been so mentally occupied with some art pieces that this ol' blog of mine is ended up like so many others.... Forgotten. I mean really how many of us start a blog, write 2 to 10 entries and then completely... utterly forget all of it. pffft.
I would like to upload some of the AMAZING pictures of my AMAZING art but alas i've misplaced my camera chord somewhere in my room (i think it's here somewhere). So that will have to wait.
In the mean-time here is an excerpt from a something i've been daydreaming about and slowing writing... please be kind, I know it has a long way to go left. :P.

The starry mist twinkled in and out of the folds of his inky cape. That cape was like an old book, and whenever he walked memories fell out and became part of the soil. The stranger never wore heavy boots but walked in such a dignified manner that the land would clear itself of debris in hope that he would travel it's hills and dells, mountains and forests, desserts and oasis. He was a beautiful man, with nimble fingers and two pleasant eyes that held the weight and joy of wisdom and courage. And there, in the corner of his mouth, was a sweetness that held secrets that only one knew well. He sought this one and behind his steps the picture of dawn and dusk was woven into the earth, read by a mighty oak and written into it's hart.

That night she dreamt of stars instead of her own memories. In truth she had not seen stars for many years and so the dream stuck out as a special reprieve from the things she could remember. Things like nightmares and evil walking bold-faced and bloody across her own land, shadowy eyes and clever wraiths, they were all written inside her and in many cases written with silvery marks into her skin.
She was a warrior, albeit a confused one who had traveled the 40 lands for many years, some said she was a hundred years old, some stood by thousands, others insisted that she always was and appeared out of the dawn. Eventually each group grew old and past down their history and surmises down to their children, children's children, and eventual descendants. Alas, no word of them remained in her mind and so she continued to live in the dark about her possible histories and the imaginative historians. She could not even remember the full story of how she became blind. She knew she was cursed, but the full truth had not appeared even after she had finally tracked down the one who cursed her. It is yet another key lost some time ago... her memory was shattered at best, a few sharp memories disjointed with seemingly no rhyme or reason. At regular her memories were non-existent.

“Now I am here” She touched the hard cold surface of the walls of her room. She used to imagine they were painted with murals of the dawn. That word still held some random images for her to draw upon. Pale hues of gold and pink, a foggy dew, the darkness dissolving. And in the hundreds of corridors she imagined similar scenes of rest, beauty and hope. At least she did until she asked one day and learned what gray meant. Her eyebrow raised and a smile twitched around her lips.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Extravegant


What is extravagant? Why does that word bring up such feelings of disapproval, disappointment, disillusion, disaster? My God is One who is Extravagant! But it seems imprudent, extravagant love gets raised eyebrows (what do they want?) hope of that love is cautioned against (it could never be like that), exploring those feelings are derided (one day you will grow up) Why must this hope, this desire, this need be made out to be belonging only to the foolish, the dreamers, the unrealistic, the immature. Why is this hope, feelings and, yes i say it, God knitted needs pushed down, especially by those within Christian circles? Are we so disappointed and disillusioned that we cation those who haven't yet learned from the way the world actually works. WE ARE NOT OF THIS WORLD! WE ARE SUPPOSED TO EXPECT GREAT THINGS> WE ARE TO PRAY GOD'S WILL, HIS KINGDOM HERE ON EARTH. We caution against life, we suppress wonderment, we use our human knowledge to explain away heavenly principles. Why can't we expect extravagant love, to get and give away, who else will raise the bar of this earth? Must we sink down with it every time we see, or hear, or feel another crushing blow, another divorce, another argument, another sin. Hold each other up, encourage one another, seek everything good and pure and lovely. God created flowers to be broken and crushed, in places where no one will ever see them, to be eaten by things that are furry and pokey, hard and soft and beautiful. Which in turn are created to be eat and be eaten, hunt and to be hunted. Why do we have taste buds? What possible reason should there be to taste food. You must admit many people would weigh less if food didn't have a taste. Why should we see colour (those who do) why should we smell? Shall we caution those who see that there is nothing that good to see, that we shouldn't expect any joy from it but to only be prepared to use our sight for service and sacrifice. What is the point of reading but to gather knowledge and expand general wisdom, song but for worship, ministry and uplifting others, what good is a mind but to put it to work for usefulness sake. Imagination is a squandered mind except for a doorway where God can speak, and a place to think up ideas, to improve humanity. Are we only a people of usefulness? Of value based actions? Of lowly expectations under a God who created us to be useful? We were created to be His Glory, to receive and learn to give back extravagant love, to seek and find those things that are hidden, the glory of kings, to enjoy intimacy with an intimate saviour, he paid extravagantly for us. Not so that we must seek value from actions or duties. But to realize our value comes from His sacrifice. How dare we live in boredom, in disillusioned despair, how dare we caution against life and hope and expectation when so great a price has been paid, when in His Word we are told our mighty value. Do you know how someone's life will turn out? Do you know the promises the God has whispered to another person. Where you there when God knit together your friend, or family member, or enemy, or disciple? Do you seek to see God's Glory and wonderment come to fullness in that person or are you so wounded that out of seeming compassion you “wake them up” from their dream to face reality head on. Who's reality? the one you have accepted for your self, for your sex, for your position, for your family. Let me ask you. Has God ever told you to dream less, to expect little, to live to be useful. Are you sure that God, the almighty, extravagant, taste-bud making, status quo breaking, master creator told you that? In one way you are right. This life is not easy, you will find opposition, you will be attacked and brought down to your knees in crushing withering pain and sorrow from this life. Because this is war and everything good is being fought against and if not directly most definitely corrosively. Crumbling edges off, making shadowed those things that were once clear. Love, family, sex, nature, communication, expectation, creativity, imagination, music, comedy, wit, wisdom. I know you are hurting, that you are in self protection mode. That you don't wish your agony onto any other person out there, especially those that you love most deeply that are going dangerously close to that place where your personal war dealt you so crushing a blow. Cry out to Jesus. We were not given a high priest that can not identify with our suffering. You must expect blows. But by God you must expect victory. Overwhelming, astounding victory in Christ Jesus. You were not created to live in boredom, despair, sin, aloneness, caution. Look at God's #1 man, King David, He didn't creep around grey area issues... he ran head long into them. Making great mistakes claiming great victories, God loves you. Rise up and act loved, act brave, act expectant, act hopeful, and when pain comes, ask God to redeem it and believe in God's Love, stand your ground, share expectations, share hopes, and when disaster comes, fearfully ask God to redeem it and love confidently, fight the enemy, claim expectations, encourage hope, and When you are beaten, bludgeoned, pierced and bleeding, when you have to fight for every breath and all that was promised seems hollow. When it appears that God's voice is silent, that His love is empty, and He has abandoned you to the cross you were told to carry. When that happens and there is nothing but disillusion and lies left. Turn to the one who saves and don't go by feeling. Remember His faithfulness in all things and ask Him to redeem everything once again, believe the cross was enough. And do greater things than Jesus did.
carved out of a pencil by one amazing guy..


Tuesday, December 28, 2010

it came back :D

Merry Christmas to one and all, guess what!!! I got two book shelves for Christmas... mmmm very glad... and in the re arranging my room I Found something I lost about two years ago. My grad ring! now some of you might not have that much attachment to your grad ring, or may not even have one, but the one I have is special!
This is the story...

It was winter and I was graduating from high school that summer. I really wanted a grad ring, super bad, and I knew my parents would not buy me one because they were buying my dress (fair enough). I was working Saturdays at the Salvation Army at the time and I counted up the possible hours I could work before I needed to pay for the ring. Rejoice there were enough hours! So i looked through the ring brochure picking out my ring. I wanted silver and my birth stone, something simple and pretty.
Very different from my costume jewelry, which I like big and sparkly!!!! :D
Some of my favorite rings and necklaces... see the fish and the disco ball ring?
Then I found it, the perfect ring, affordable and wholly desirable. So I put in the order and prepared to work my saturdays. Then a terrible thing happened, I did not get called in for one shift, not one hour... nothing! how was I supposed to pay for a ring with no money? I told a few of my fellow friend grads about my dilemma. but they were just as "tapped out" as I was. There was nothing I could do... could I return it?

At the time I lived in an apartment building called Harvest Heights, a somewhat run down establishment that needed a key to get into the building (thankfully lol). Underneath our, own, family home door I found an envelope. It was about a week before my ring would come in the mail. It was addressed to me in a typed note that read:

     "To Tamara, Enjoy your grad ring. From your Father in Heaven"

inside the envelope was about 3 dollars more than my ring bill would end up being! To this day I don't know who sent me that money. My parents were just as shocked as I was. :D
So I got my grad ring. I think of the ring as a present from God, He buys me jewelry, I'm his girl. :D

So you can see why loosing it would make me so sad and why finding it causes me to rejoice :D
Have a great new year every one,

Mary and Joseph and travelers in the Christmas play I directed in Switzerland last year.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Beauty and The Beast and shoes!

I just purchased that timeless tale once again and watched it... ahhhhhhh... lovely. I really do love stories. YAY! anyway, I also wanted to show you some of the pictures i've been finding on the internet!
IT'S A POP-UP LAMP!!!!! Takeshi Ishiguro's Book of Lights

The tap knobs adjust the intensity of the light! Brazilian designer Rafael Morgan
A high heeled shoe :D
Yes another pair of shoes!
Seriously! I don't even know how it stays on... but it is another shoe!

Sunday, September 26, 2010

Cake

I haven't posted for a while because of two reasons. One: Things have been happening but I don't know what to say about them. and Two: I started my new job! yay! All summer, except for July when I helped at camp, I was a weed whipper for the city... fairly mindless. And now I'm a cake decorator at Sobeys.

It's nice to do something creative but I find it is sort of stressful and I'm not very fast yet. They tell me that I'll do great once I get my rhythm down.
I hope to write soon. But now I have to go to bed so I can be ready for another cake decorating day. :D

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Picture time!!!

I can't find where this one came from if you find out let me know!
Something that I really love to do is go to Google Images and look for pictures :D here are some for you to see!
Dirk Rees from his "In Motion" series
Tim Walker "Lily and Spiral Staircase"
Stephano Corso "Via dei Fori Imperiali"
Roman Signer "Wasserstiefel" (Water boots)
Erwin Blumenfeld, "Sur la tour Eiffel", made in 1938,

Tim Walker "Lady Grey"

Zhang Jingna "Forgotten Fairytales"
Zena Holloway "Underwater Angel"
I hope you liked them! oh just so you know some sites show more provocative pictures, just so you can be safe! :D.
 Have a wonderful day!

Friday, August 20, 2010

Once Upon a Time....

This art work shows what the books are about visually.
Is there something you like to daydream? Is there someone you wish you could be? Have you ever tried to write a story or poem or song, or make some other form of art, and put yourself entirely into it? If you look at an artist's body of work you can pick out their voice and the things that inspire them. You can find out the themes they have learned and watch them grow up/different piece after piece.

It's like a story that I have been working at for all my life. It's a story about royalty and peasantry, betrayal, glory, pain, hope, fear, love, and brokenness. And it is frustratingly unfinished... ugg. I've found out over the years that this story is me more than anything. Where am I going with this....

Two Things
1---Your stories, poem, music, art, dramas, daydreams are directly from your heart, take care of them, protect them and ask God about them. Your heart is your well-spring of life and it is the thing that the world will crush the fastest. Do you ever ask God, "what is your plan/will for me" do you wonder like most of us, "what am I supposed to do with my life?" Psalm 139: 13-14 says
“For YOU created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful I know that full well.” 
 Those dreams and thoughts, artistic, mathematical, analytical, awesome tendencies are something God put in you for the beginning. It's good to know who you are.
2---Also maybe a way for you to know God is to know yourself and what he gave you. Like an artist's body of work shows who they are knowing God's art work (you) will help you know Him. Look at His creation, the WOW! factor is there. 

You were created, God can give you more, God is bigger, your heart is important, when God saves and reconciles (cause to co-exist in harmony) us to himself, he does it completely. (Colossians 1:15-20- 15 (ESV))
 What do you think?